Managed to do 1,120 words on chapter twelve, so now I’m at 35,057. Almost 2,000 words ahead still . . . but I don’t feel so good about it.
I just spent 1,120 more words avoiding this big major scene that I don’t want to write. I started this trend in chapter eleven (you know, that whole watching videos with George thing wasn’t planned; that was avoidance) and now I’m just keeping it going even better.
Sara has to confront the ghost again. Directly. This is the scene I’ve planned from the very beginning; it’s the root of the story, the very event that spawned the rest of this sordid plot. And now that I’ve finally built up to it, I’m too scared to write it. I have to confront something that, quite frankly, I’m terrified of, so I’ve spent several thousand words hedging around it, wandering off in other directions. But I need to do this. Screw the climax: this scene is the point of the whole damn novel.
And I can’t write it.
Sigh. They never said being a writer is easy: I knew that. There are some things that are very difficult to write, not just from a technical perspective, but from an emotional one. This is one of the biggest things, emotionally, that I’ve ever tried to do. I need to do this. I know I can!
I’ll do it tomorrow.